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Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “highly unrealistic”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are often coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his actions, making him especially susceptible to negative feedback from those around him. He first suspected he might have NPD after looking up his traits on the internet – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he questions he would have taken the label unless he had already reached that realization on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people conceal it, due to widespread prejudice associated with the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through behaviors including pursuing power,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are men, research indicates this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she explains, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this behavior – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding over the years the difference between suitable or harmful to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my family members were belittling me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, has difficulty with feelings. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: It was indicated it is likely to occur early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number